last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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