too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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