i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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