I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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