Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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