Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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