I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.