i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.