i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
