just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
