Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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