If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
