How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
