And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
