so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
