I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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