In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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