Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
as a side note pls kill me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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