I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
