He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
