I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize