True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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