Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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