there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
