i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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