Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
