New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
