soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why are your pants in the freezer?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize