Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
