Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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