I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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