She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My balls are so social today.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Randomize
