just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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