so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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