You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
