New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
