i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
