I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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