Christians are straight up FREAKS
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
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