He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
