Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
