I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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