I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
