I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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