There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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