ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
