the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
