Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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