Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
