Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
too bad you live with your parents still
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
