Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize