I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
