Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
