I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
