Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
