Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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