If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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