I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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