Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
