Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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